RWBY AU Showcase
by FlawedVictori
Summary: Boring title is boring. At least one chapter for every AU I can find, think up, or get requests for! Various genres, obviously, but humor will play a part in all of them. Any and all chapters contained within have the chance to become actual fics later on, depending on reader interest and whether or not I can stand writing it. Probably gonna have most of the cast in this one.
1. Neo, The Gamer 1

**It's a Legitimate Strategy!**

_**A/N: A quick word; Most of this stuff is not only inapplicable in DnD/any MMO, but also extremely likely to piss off anyone nearby if you try it, in addition to almost certainly not being in any sourcebook. Also, never played it, so I can't vouch for any of the minutae. This is my take on the 'Gamer' verse fics. Which are frelling fantastic, really, go look up Skyros or The Games We Play when you get the chance. However, they don't show what'd happen if a schemer (Read;MinMaxer) had the 'Gamer' semblance.I suppose you could consider this a parody of the concept. Also, for maximum enjoyment, imagine all the status windows being read in Yes Man's voice.**_

_**Also also, sorry about posting this earlier than expected, it's a long story but basically I already had this written and nothing else to post so...**_

**Long ago, before Roman had graduated from being a pickpocket, but after Cinder figured out she looked great in heels. **

A young girl awoke one morning to find a blue box floating in front of her.

Naturally, she expressed her surprise in the most succinct way possible.

"The _fuck_?"

Displayed proudly at the top of the box, which she assumed was more two-dimensional than she expected but couldn't confirm her suspicions because it kept fucking moving when she tried to look around or behind it, were the words '**Congratulations! You have discovered your semblance! Run tutorial y/n?**'

Which was odd, because she'd never heard anyone else mention this when they inevitably told the stories abut how they'd discovered their semblances. "Maybe it's a secret?" That didn't seem right... "Why would-"

The box abruptly changed. **Thank you for running the tutorial! This boosts your life expectancy by up to 276 percent, rounded down. Please say 'Next' when you are ready to move on.**

The girl blinked. "Uhm... next?"

**First and foremost, you now have the miraculous power to examine anything and gain significant insight into it's personal history, stats, and usage! Please use your 'Observe' skill to continue!**

She shrugged, then turned to her bed. "Uh... Observe." A second box appeared to her left, and the original one was now filled with flashing text.

**Thank you for using the 'Observe' skill! When used, another status window will pop up, like the one to your left! Please peruse the status window now. Please say 'Next' when you are ready to move on.**

Shrugging, she eyed the second 'Status Window.'

**Your Bed** **Comfy to sleep in, though not very easy to wear. Sleeping in it will fully restore your HP and MP. Maybe it's time for a rest?**

"Okay... next." The bed's _very useful_ window disappeared, and the original window updated once more.

**'Observe' will become a very valuable tool to you in time. Make sure to experiment; try it on every thing you see. Nearly anything can be observed, with the obvious exception of yourself! You're far too important to waste time with self-observation...** **Of particular note is the 'See More' function! When 'Observe' is in use, say 'See More' to reveal even more information! Just don't feed it!**

To her surprise, the bed's status window appeared again. "Okay... see more?" The status window changed.

**According to the analysis of various stains, someone who had this bed and was _clearly_ not you was certainly not too important to waste time on "self-observation"**

She took a moment to consider whether it said something about her to have her semblance itself making fun of her. The bed's _obviously lying_ status window closed, and the original status window updated again.

**In that case, perhaps you would like to see your personal stats? Please say 'Status' to do so. Check your stats to continue.**

She sighed. Semblances were a headache.

"Status." Yet another status window popped up in her vision, the original fading into the background to accommodate it.

**Enter Name**

**Level 1 Aspiring Gamer**

**STR-9  
DEX-12  
INT-10  
WIS-8  
CHA-6  
LUK-5**

"Oh, man, my stats _suck... _and why doesn't it have my name?"

The original window made it's presence known once again.

**Your stats can be increased further upon leveling up. In addition, those who voluntarily accept flaws unto themselves are given extra points and traits, among other bonuses, which can be placed into any stat chosen!** Something clicked in her mind. "Define flaw." **Flaws are traits which are inherently harmful to you.**

"Uh-huh... Is there a limit to how flawed I can be?"

**There is no limit on flaws, though most do not choose many, due to their inherently harmful nature!**

She smiled. "I'd like to see a list of flaws." A full window popped up in front of her, and the smile grew ever more sinister.

"Let's get started."

* * *

_**Three Hours, and much more familiarity with the HUD later**_

"Status."

**Enter Name**

**Level 1 Aspiring Gamer**

**STR-90  
DEX-152  
INT-102  
WIS-86  
CHA-16  
LUK-53**

**FLAWS**

**Cat Allergy  
****Aversion to Cats**  
**Cat Dander Allergy**  
**Aversion to Cat Dander**  
**No Table Manners**  
**Aversion to Pasta**  
**Low Patience**  
**Occasionally Goes Mad With Power**  
**See More (11,313)**

"Hm. Maybe just a few more... scroll down." The list on the screen moved downwards slowly. "Wait, go back up. Mute? What's that do?"

**Mute- Your lack of speech heavily drains your charisma, but unnerves your foes! Plus 4 points to any stat, Charisma minus 10, 20% extra damage to human enemies!**

"Wait, will I still be able to navigate my HUD without talking if I take it?"

**Of course!**

"And is there a sign language trait?"

**It's folded into non-verbal communication, which also includes mastery of the written word!**

"Which is based on?"

**Intelligence and Dexterity!**

"Wonderful. I'll take that then. Put the extra points into wisdom."

**Consider it done!**

She tried to say to go on to the traits menu, but found that nothing came out. Thinking it worked, however.

**Please select up to five traits! **

_'__What happens if I don't pick five?'_

**The remainder are converted into five skill points each, which can be further added to your skills.**

She would've broken into maniacal laughter if she still had the ability to. After a few minutes perusing the list, she'd almost made her decision to take Nonverbal Communication and her extra twenty to Wisdom. However, one feat caught her eye. _'Okay, so Sex Appeal would probably make up for my lack of charisma, right?'_

**That's a dangerous line of thought for someone of your age!**

She rolled her eyes._ 'Could do without the sarcasm from this thing. What is Sex Appeal's effect?'_

**Adds (STR+INT/2) to your charisma score!** **Can further be specialized to add in Offensive or Defensive effects!**

She initially resisted the urge to cackle, then realized it was a wasted effort._ 'I'll take that. Open the specialization menu.'_

**Sadistic Streak- Your knowledge of the human body and sheer enjoyment of your work increases your damage against human opponents by 30%, however AGE CONFIRMATION REQUIRED FOR MORE INFORMATION**

**Masochistic Streak-You've spent years gaining an intimate knowledge of how to resist pain! You take 20% less damage, however AGE CONFIRMATION REQUIRED FOR MORE INFORMATION.**

_'Huh? _That's_ new. Uh... see more?'_

**AGE CONFIRMATION REQUIRED. ARE YOU OVER EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE?**

_'Uhm... yes?'_ The window was completely blank for a moment.

**Did you really think that would work?**

_'Eh, not really. I'll take it anyway, whatever it does can't be _that_ bad. That's all I want, put the points into wisdom. Oh, I want the Sadistic Spec, by the way.'_

**Congratulations on completing the tutorial! Please enter a name for your character!**

She rolled her eyes._ 'Tell you what, champ, just put in my name, alright?'_

**Remember, you can view your stats at any time by accessing the status menu. Your adventure starts now! **

**Quest Added- Steal something for breakfast**

**Quest Added-Eat breakfast**

She rolled her eyes, but set off anyway. _'I _am_ kinda hungry.'_

**Neo Politan**

**Level 1 Aspiring Gamer**

**STR-90  
****DEX-152  
****INT-102  
****WIS-104  
****CHA-6 (+96)  
****LUK-53**

**FLAWS  
**  
**Cat Allergy**  
**Aversion to Cats**  
**Cat Dander Allergy**  
**Aversion to Cat Dander**  
**No Table Manners**  
**Aversion to Pasta**  
**Low Patience**  
**Occasionally Goes Mad With Power**  
**See More (11,313)**

**TRAITS**

**Nonverbal Communication Expert**

**Sadistic Sex Appeal**


	2. Thanks, Cardin!

**Thanks, Cardin!**

_**A/N:Needed a slight break from keeping my eye on continuity, so you guys get a oneshot that may or may not turn ino an actual story. This falls into the 'College AU' category, but I'd say this probably won't be the only College AU chapter, and I might even write for different college AUs from time to time. All depends on the requests I get, or the ideas that pop into my head. On an unrelated note, I somehow managed to piss myself off by reading Cardin's dialogue as I wrote it.**_

_**And hey, check the poll on my pro, if you could. Helps me decide what to write next.**_

It was a beautiful September day at Vale U, the birds were singing, the ultimate frisbeers were... frisbree-ing, and Cardin was trying and failing to get into a girl's pants. According to almost everyone walking around campus that day, everything was right in the world.

According to one Weiss Schnee, however, the day was already ruined. This was in no small part due to being the aforementioned girl having to put up with Cardin.

Granted, Cardin was not an especially unattractive boy, with pleasing muscles and a handsome face. In fact, most people would argue that it was specifically _because _of his attractive features that his unattractive feature stood out so much.

In the words of many, many sorority sisters and even a few professors, Cardin Winchester turned from a fine piece of eye candy into pure disappointment as soon as he opened his mouth.

"So, sexy," Cardin said, leaning far too close to Weiss for his own good. "Why don't we go somewhere more... secluded?"

Weiss sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Because I have no interest in you."

"For someone with no interest, you were staring for a while." He put on a cocky smirk.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Yes, I was checking you out. You're certainly attractive."

"Well then, why-"

"But you act like such a _douchebag_, so I think I'll pass." Weiss made no effort to hide the self satisfied smirk that spread across her face at seeing the larger boy's shock. Speaking of shock...

"By the way..." The smirk widened at the glare he sent her. "I have a taser, so take a couple steps back, alright?"

He took one step back, and turned on what little charm he possessed.

It, uh... it wasn't much. To use a saying popularized on campus due to the large tabletop club, Cardin had 'rolled a natural one.'

"Well, uh... why don't we go out anyway? It's not like you have anyone else willing to... I mean, I've never seen you with a boyfriend or anything!"

Weiss felt like she'd been slapped. Not only did Cardin have the gall to imply she was desperate, he was even saying no one wanted her to begin with!

Now, it's necessary to include here that Weiss was normally a very calm and rational person, and she was almost never the type to make rash decisions. However, Cardin had struck a nerve. He was in fact, completely correct in saying that he hadn't seen Weiss with a boyfriend. In fact, no one at Vale U had seen Weiss with a boyfriend. She had been single since coming to the university that August, right off the heels of a bad breakup with her high-school sweetheart.

It's also important to note that Cardin had no way of knowing this, though he was being a douche.

And, though we have nowhere near enough time to document the vast amount of things Cardin doesn't know, there is one that will go a short way to explaining Weiss' actions. If not for the breakup, that day, September 9th, would have been Weiss and Neptune's third anniversary.

"I- Well- You-." Weiss took a moment to control her breathing. "You're right, you haven't seen me with a boyfriend. But why would that mean I was single? In fact, uh.." She took a few quick looks in several directions, trying to find a suitable person, finally settling on a particularly attractive blonde who was staring at her phone. "Ah! There's my girlfriend now!" She dashed toward the girl, and heard Cardin start walking after her. Clearly, he was the determined type. As her father would say, this called for generous application of bribery.

Yang was confused, to say the least. On her way to the gym, she'd taken a few wrong turns, and ended up outside the Art Building. Seeing as she didn't have any classes near here, she was forced to text Blake for directions. Unfortunately, Blake seemed to have turned her phone off, so she was truly lost. The traitorus thoughts that kept slipping in about why Blake would turn off her phone when she was going to meet with Yang's sweet, innocent baby sister certainly didn't help her mood any.

So, when Yang found herself being hugged by what could only be described as a white torpedo she decided to just roll with the day apparently deciding to throw her a bone.

The girl hissed a quick whisper into her ear ("I'msorrypleaseplayalongI'llgiveyou$500andIllexplainlater), and broke the embrace, turning toward...

"Oh, _hi_, Cardin." Yang smirked at the boy, as he started going pale. "Remember me?"

"Hello, Yang." He replied evenly. "Nice weather today, right?"

Weiss could hardly believe her eyes. The boy was clearly horrified by Yang's presence. "Hey, uh... babe? How do you two know each other?"

Yang smiled. "Well, _babe," _She replied, smiling at the girl who would be buying her a _very _nice jacket. "Cardy here decided it'd be a good idea to come on to my sister." She turned to Cardin, who seemed to have literally no blood in his face at this point. "And now it looks like he decided to flirt with my girlfriend too."

Cardin took three very quick steps backwards. "Uh, I'm sorry, Yang. And, uh... you too, uhm..." He seemed to realize it woul be a good time to leave then, and started walking off.

Yang couldn't resist calling out after him. "And you didn't even know her name?" She turned to the small girl, who sighed in relief.

"Thank goodness. Oh, right, I haven't introduced myself." She held a hand out. "I'm Weiss Schnee, pleased to meet you."

Yang raised her eyebrow at the outstretched hand. "Not gonna lie, I preferred the hug." The other girl didn't even smile, though she did take her hand down. "oof, tough crowd." She smiled brightly. "I'm Yang Xiao-Long. Nice to meet ya!"

"Er... right. Anyway, I feel bad for dragging you into this, and I'm kind of hungry anyway, so do you want to go get lunch?"

"Your treat?"

Weiss narrowed her eyes, but couldn't keep a straight face. The girl's happy-go-lucky attitude was infectious. "I'm already giving you five hundred."

"Exactly! So, what's a few dollars for a burger to someone who has that kind of money to throw around, right?"

Weiss shrugged. "You do have a point, but if I'm paying we're going somewhere with good coffee."

Yang laughed. "Fine by me, 'babe'. So, is this our first date, or..."

Weiss rolled her eyes, and started walking towards her favorite cafe. "Whatever you say, Yang."

"You know, sometimes I feel like you're just with me for my body."

Weiss nearly tripped, causing Yang to laugh. "I- you!" She took a moment to steady her breathing, and prepare a comeback. "Of course I am. You're the perfect trophy wife."

Yang raised an eyebrow. "I'm more of a black widow, actually. I'll spend a few years with you until I'm in the will, then BANG!" She scooped Weiss up and twirled her around once. To Weiss' credit, she only squealed once and didn't smack Yang at all. "You're in the ground and I'm relaxing on Patch"

Weiss chuckled. "I want a pre-nup."

Yang laughed. "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Weiss."

Weiss sighed. "But I really wanted a trophy wife."

"I'll be your wingman, then."

Weiss laughed again, and before long, the two were chatting like old friends over two cups of Weiss' favorite coffee, and a stacked plate of more pastries than either could name. Yang never did get that burger she wanted, though.


	3. 3rd Worst Way to Meet Your Roomates Sis

**The Third Worst Way to Meet Your Roommate's Sister**

_**A/N: As always, check my profile and vote on the poll. Just to clarify, this isn't in the same AU as last chapter. Next week's when I post the first by-request chapter, so keep your eyes open! **_

Blake Belladonna was not having the best of nights.

That morning her roommate and self-proclaimed 'best-friend' had decided that Blake had spent too many consecutive days studying, and that they would be spending the night at one of her favorite clubs in town. Blake had agreed, and spent time picking out her outfit with Yang. Yang spending more time picking out Blake's outfit than her own should have been an early warning

The plan had been for Blake to go ahead to the club when she got off class, and Yang would meet her when she was done working out.

Of course, Yang had sent her a text about an hour after they were supposed to meet, and said she'd be there soon.

That had been twenty minutes ago.

Blake sighed. Clearly, this was the next entry in Yang's long lineup of plans to get her to take someone home.

According to the blonde, Blake was on the world's longest dry spell, and, as her best friend, it was her duty to help her break it.

After the third surprise blind date, Blake had sat Yang down and _calmly and rationally _explained why Yang had to stop before she killed her.

Then Yang had moved on to trying to hook her up with some of her exes and old... '_friends_.'

While Blake could admit she'd been tempted by the offer to introduce her to a pair of twins Yang had known in high school, she thought it'd be just too strange to be with anyone Yang had been with.

Yang's third and, sadly enough, most subtle idea had been to leave a phonebook on her bed with the number to an escort service circled

That had been last week, and Blake had been a bit worried at what Yang would come up with next. While it was a comfort that she hadn't yet tried for the obvious solution, she honestly wasn't sure what she'd do if Yang offered.

Still, if her newest plan was to just have her go to a club and see what happened, Yang had clearly realized that Blake didn't really need her help.

* * *

Naturally, that hadn't been Yang's plan at all. In fact, she'd been planning on playing the part of Blake's wingman all night and making damn sure that she went home with someone.

However, she'd gotten a bit sidetracked at the gym, when her usual sparring and work-out partner had suggested she come to her place for, in her words, "A cooldown routine and a little snack"

The fact that the redhead had her pressed against the wall in the showers when she asked may have had a bit of an effect on her answer.

And so it was that, an hour after she'd meant to meet Blake, she was looking through Pyrrha's room for her clothes while she apologized for being late.

In her defense, Pyrrha had been wearing her shirt, and who wouldn't have went for round two in that situation?

And Pyrrha's roommate walking in? Definitely not her fault. Of course, had she known that she'd be caught topless by Weiss Schnee, she probably wouldn't have stuck around that long.

So, she'd taken the opportunity to leave while Weiss chewed Pyrrha out for not leaving a warning of some kind.

So by the time she got to the club, she was almost two hours late. She searched for Blake for almost a half hour before it occurred to her to text Blake.

**[Hey, sorry I'm so late, where you at?]**

**[Back at the room. Think you can find somewhere else to sleep tonight?]**

**[That's my girl! You gotta tell me everything tomorrow. I got a story too, but it'll wait.]**

She smiled as she put her phone away, and walked to the bar to find a place to stay for the night.

* * *

Blake had a smile of her own as she put her phone away. "Sorry, my roommate was loo- uh, telling me she wouldn't be back tonight."

The girl laughed nervously, and idly twirled a finger in her hair. In this light, Blake could make out the red tips she hadn't noticed in the bar.

"Oh, well... that's good. Wouldn't want her to uh..." She blushed, and trailed off.

Blake ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah..." She let out an awkward chuckle. This night wasn't really happening the way she'd seen it happening.

"Sorry... I'm not really used to this sort of thing." The girl smiled at her shyly. "I've, uh... never really did something like this without going on a few dates first."

Blake let herself laugh, remembering the nervousness she'd felt the first time she'd went home with someone. "Yeah, I've never really been the one to take someone to my place, so you're not alone."

"Yeah..." The girl looked down, then seemed to steel herself. "I, uh... this might've been a mistake. I mean, you seem really nice, and you're really pretty, and I'd love to date you, but-"

Blake held up a hand. "It's fine, I get you."

She smiled, then. "Good. Uh, can I get your number, then?"

Blake laughed. "Sure. I'll give you a ride back to town, too, if you need it."

She shook her head. "Nah, my sister goes here. I'll just crash with her tonight." She pulled out her phone, and let Blake put the number in. "Mind if I stay here till I can get in touch with her? "

"Of course." She walked into the kitchen to give her some privacy.. and promptly stopped dead a few steps short of the kitchen at the girl's first words.

"Hey, Yang? Mind if I crash with you tonight? I, uh... met a girl and it didn't really work out. Yeah, I can wait for a bit, she's okay with me staying till you get here. Oh, really? I dunno, I can always-" She sighed. "She hung up. She said she'll have to tell her roommate to send home her date, but it should be-"She turned to Blake, and her eyes widened at how pale the bigger girl was. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Uh... Ruby?"

"Yeah?" She took a step back.

"You're Ruby. Yang's sister?"

"Oh, you know Yang?" Blake was silent. Ruby looked around at the Achievemen posters, and the yellow blankets on the bed across from Blake's. "No. No way. You.."

"I'm going to die. She's actually going to kill me."

"You're Yang's-"

Blake's phone started ringing.

Ruby's eyes widened.

Blake swallowed, and answered it.

"Hey, Yang. What's up?"

"Sorry to do this to you, but my sister's coming over for the night. You think you can go over to whatever her name is's place?"

"Actually, uh... it, uh.. didn't really... I mean, we've-"

"Yeah, look, I'm outside. Everyone dressed?"

"Yeah, but-"

Yang opened the door. "Hey Blake, where's the lucky-" Her eyes widened. "Ruby?"

Ruby hand flew to her hair, and she scratched the back of her head, smiling nervously. "Hey Yang."

Yang took a deep breath "I don't remember telling you where my building was. Or my room number."

"Uh, yeah, well..."

"And the club Blake was at is just a block from the house."

"Right, but-"

Yang turned on Blake. "So. You brought my sister home." She was the picture of calm, and her voice was carefully even.

Ruby stepped in to save the trembling Blake. "We didn't do anything! I swear!"

"Of course you didn't. Blake would never touch my sister. Right, Blake?"

Blake was unable to say anything, as she was currently stuck remembering the time she'd seen Yang fight six guys off without being touched.

"Blake?"

"Of course! I'd never even think of- of- I mean-"

"Good. We'll talk more in the morning, okay? Ruby-" She turned to her sister. "I'm not going to tell dad, but we are having a _long_ talk in the morning. All three of us."

"Good. Now, Ruby can have my bed. Blake-"

"I'll sleep on the floor, you can-" Yang held up a hand.

"I was going to make sure you didn't have a problem sharing with me."

"Of course! It's fine, anything for you! I think of you like a sister, you know, and-"

"Good." Yang looked at the two of them for a moment. "Time for bed, though. You mind killing the light, Rubes?"

"Got it."

The light went out, and they went to their respective beds.

The silence was golden for a few moments, until Blake felt strong arms wrap around her, and lips touch her ears. "Blakey... I want you to know something." Her hand trailed up Blake's leg, and she let it rest over her belly button. Her breath hitched. "If you had done anything with my sister, I wouldn't be _that_ mad. You're a good girl, I know you wouldn't have taken advantage."

Blake let out her breath.

"I would have beat the shit out of you, though, but we could've still been friends."

"Could you move your ha- _not like that!_"

"I'm just screwin with ya, Blakey."

"I know, but it's still weird."

"Oh, alright." The hand moved away. "Night. Night Rubes!"

"Uh... night guys."

And so, an awkward night was brought to an end.


	4. Hot Coffee

**Hot Coffee**

_**A/N: Next chapter will continue the Request AU, had to take a light break. I'm too sick to put too much effort into continuity. I'm proud of the title, fucking fight me. This is unrelated to any of the other Aus, just took it from an AU blog on Tumblr. First version of this chapter had a shouting match, but decided to take it in a different direction, so I decided against it.**_

"-yeah" The blond one said to the one with the horrible dye-job. "She told me the girl was a total freak. Said she told her she was gonna-" He whispered the last part, and even Blake's keen hearing couldn't detect what he said.

Dye job laughed, and fiddled with his _stupid_ goggles. "I'd heard Yang was pretty kinky herself, but come on, that's just _weird. _Course, she told me the neighbors came out to go to work that morning before the girl had enough. Said she was surprised she could even walk!"

Blake'd had enough. Unfortunately, she needed this job, so the worst she could do was aloof passive-aggressiveness.

Which, honestly, wasn't that much different from every other barista in the city, and was pretty much Blake's standard modus operandi.

But, you know, it's the thought that counts.

"Would you two like to order?"

The blond jumped, and finally shut up about the stupid rumors in favor of ordering.

Having worked at the Campus Starbucks for three years now, Blake was more than used to the gossip that seemed to flow through the town. It seemed like everyone tended to forget they were in line and just talk about anything, which usually included all the usual drama of student life.

So, yes, Blake usually knew who was dating, who was cheating, and who was failing. She knew who was having trouble in classes, who was planning on leaving, and who was spending too much time drinking instead of studying.

However, this was new. She'd never heard rumors about who was having one night stands. That was just too common to talk about. Of course, to hear them tell it, that night was anything but common. For the past week, she'd been hearing about all sorts of kinky things that Yang's mystery girl was supposedly into, and all sorts of positions she'd managed to teach Yang.

Blake, on the other hand, knew the night was a normal bring-a-girl-home-from-the-bar-and-make-decisions-you-might-not-have-made-while-sober type of night. She knew the rumors going around were false. And he wanted them to stop before anyone recognized her as the girl who'd left Yang's room last week.

However, as she'd learned the week before, the athletic girl was on a strict diet, and avoided Starbucks, and coffee in general, like it was the plague. Which meant Blake had exactly two options. Wait where she knew Yang would show up eventually, or going to Yang's apartment and talking to her there.

She couldn't help but feel that both options were a tad creepy, but after a long day of deliberation, and hearing rumors about how she could stand on one leg with the other curled around her neck, she decided she'd just get it over with.

Blake steeled herself, and reached a hand out to knock on the door of room 356.

It opened almost immediately, and Blake found herself face to face with a girl wearing a red hoodie.

Well, it would've been face to face if the girl had been wearing high heels. It was more like forehead to nose.

They stared in silence for a moment before Blake finally spoke up. "Is, uh... is Yang around?"

The girl smiled. "Oh, you're one of Yang's friends! Yeah, she's inside."

She turned around and walked in. "Close the door behind you, please." She raised her voice to a yell. "Yang! Someone here to see you!"

"Coming! Come help your girlfriend out in the kitchen, she need someone to get stuff off the top shelves."

"Hey!" An indignant voice cried from the kitchen.

Yang was laughing as she walked into the living room, but stopped as soon as she caught sight of Blake. "Uhh... hey?"

Blake glared, and crossed her arms. "Hey."

A silence wore on, and Blake noted with some amusement that Yang was clearly uncomfortable.

Nearly a full minute passed before Yang broke the silence. "So, uhh... no offense, but why'd you..."

Blake cut her off. "Well, I've been hearing rumors about the _total freak_ you took home the other day, so-"

Yang's eyes widened, and she cut Blake off. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't think you'd hear those! I mean, I didn't mean for them to get so out of control, I was just trying to top Nora's story and it just kind of went from there!"

Blake took a deep breath. "Well, I've had to listen to these rumors for a week now, so if there's any way you could-"

"I mean, I'll do my best, but it might just be better to let it blow over. I can change the subject whenever it comes up, and I won't talk about it anymore, so it should die down soon enough."

"Uh... thanks." Blake scratched at the back of her head, and started shuffling her feet. "Uh... I guess-"

Red hoodie decided to speak up from the kitchen then. "Hey, should I set out four plates, or three?"

Blake slowly backed towards the door, but Yang shot her a grin. "Four, sis."

She glared at the blonde, who just smiled back for a moment, before her face lit up. "Hey, Blake?"

She sighed inwardly. "Yeah?"

"You know, people can't really talk about a one night stand I had if it wasn't a one night stand, so..."

Blake stared. "You're joking, right?"

"Aw, come on. You know you had fun, I know I had fun-"

Blake couldn't lie, she did have a point. And she didn't really have much else to do that night, so maybe-

"So why don't we go on a few dates?"

Her thoughts screeched to a halt.

"Wh- what?" She stared, wide-eyed, at the girl.

Yang just smiled back. "I mean, you already met my family, so..."

There was a pregnant pause while Blake considered the offer.

Despite everything, she really did remember having a good time with Yang at the bar, and it had been a while since Blake had actually 'dated' anyone.

"You do know that this is the absolute worst way to ask someone out, right?"

Yang laughed. "Ah, come on, it'll be fun."

Blake was unable to respond, due to hoodie walking into the room with several plates of food.

After helping Yang to avert the disaster that was about to happen, she put the thoughts to rest in favor of enjoying her meal, and the company of the three.

Before the night ended, she was invited back, and essentially accepted into the group, the four bonding over that quintessential college pastime, complaining about assignments instead of doing them.

Blake, as the only one with an early class, left first. Yang saw fit to see her to the door, and without thinking twice, Blake kissed her goodbye.

Of course, by the time of their third date, Blake had realized she'd never really agreed to the relationship to begin with.

Despite that, she never did regret it.


	5. Bandit Queen Velvet

**Ramblings**

_**A/N:I was thinking of stuff for an upcoming fic of mine, and I got off onto the tangent of just how fucked a normal fighter would be against Team RWBY. Specifically against a Team RWBY that has no qualms about killing. This doesn't really belong to a specific AU, but it's kinda similar to the one my upcoming fic will take place in. Also, for some reason the idea of Velvet leading a bandit clan is hilarious to , as always, check out the poll on my profile to tell me which AUs you want to see more of.**_

"Boss! I see it!" Naranj squealed, in that irritating voice of his.

The heads of every one of my men snapped up as one, looking at him in his perch in our 'guard tower.' (Actually just a tree that Leblanc had built a platform onto.)

Though the climb up only took a few minutes, Naranj's... enthusiasm made it feel like hours.

I snatched the binoculars from him and took a look.

Sure enough, there was a wagon going down the main path, pulled by a lone horse. There were five passengers, and a huge chest. Four girls in scruffy civillian clothes that could conceivably cover a snug suit of leather armor, and an older man, wearing an expensive outfit clearly unsuited to traveling through the forest. I tried to spot any signs of weaponry, and was rewarded with a glimpse of a pommel sticking out from white-hair's clothes, before she noticed and tucked it back into her shirt. I chuckled at that, the girl was clearly trying to make sure none of the others had seen her gaffe.

So, we had an old man, and four girls wearing clothes that matched their hair, at least one of which was concealing a weapon.

Which meant, if my information was correct, four guards and the village Taxmaster, on their way to the capitol to pay the good king his share.

Granted, it was certainly possible that one of the women was there for...'personal' reasons, the blonde in particular looking like a good candidate.

But it never hurt to be prepared for the worst.

"Hey, hey, boss, is it them?" Naranj stared at me, his eyes wide. "Do ya think? I mean, they've got a chest and if he can afford girls like that-"

I glared at him. "Naranj!"

"Yeah, boss?"

"Shut the hell up." As always, I jumped off the platform, and managed to stick the landing.

It hurt like a bitch every time, but it inspired the men, so I put up with it.

Naranj, of course, climbed down like a sensible person, but I wasn't the leader of a bandit crew because I was _sensible_.

I cleared my throat, and everyone turned to me. "Alright men-"

There was a cough.

"And Triste."

"Thanks, Velv-."

I glared at her.

"Ugh... thanks, boss."

I nodded at her. "I know it's cutting a bit close to winter for all of you, and you'd rather be back home spending the coin we've made this year, but your patience has _finally _paid off. My information was correct; the shithole is sending off it's taxes for the last_ five years_ to the capitol."

That got them excited. Five years worth of taxes, even from a small village like this, was enough for all of us to take a few years off.

"Now, I can see you're excited, but keep in mind these assholes know this is our forest. They're riding through, sitting pretty, thinking that we've already left for the winter. They're _disrespecting_ us on our turf. I counted four guards, but we can't be sure they don't have reinforcements lying in wait. So, we gotta hit em hard, hit em fast, and take the chest before they know what hit him. Then we can all go our separate ways, spend the rest of the winter however you usually do."

A ragged cheer went up at that.

"Alright, boys, here's the plan. Triste, you take ten men and attack from behind. Keep an eye out for any other guards. Exsangue, take twenty to attack from in front of them. I'll take care of the horse so they can't charge you. Sombre, you and Verdâ take ten each, attack from right and left after Exsangue's group attacks. You all move on his signal, got it?"

Everyone nodded.

"Exsangue, you and Sombre are the strongest, so you two carry the chest. Get back here as fast as you can, and we'll divide the loot."

I sighed internally. "Naranj, you're with me. I need a good spotter."

"Sure thing, boss!"

"Choose your groups quickly, we only get one shot at this, and I'd like to get them before they get into a clearing."

Ten minutes later, I was laying down in another 'lookout tower,' holding onto our lone rifle.

I lined up the shot, nice and slow. According to Naranj and his binocs, the leaders had all indicated they were in position.

Of course, it'd taken a bit longer than expected, so the wagon had made it into a good-sized clearing, but it didn't matter that much. The guards would be dead before they knew what hit them.

At the distance I was at and with the modifications made to the weapon, the shot wouldn't even be heard. Ideally, they'd go to check on the horse, and then Exsangue would attack while they were distracted.

Of course, if these girls were even barely trained, they'd realize what was happening as soon as the horse dropped, but I could always hope.

I had just begun squeezing the trigger when Naranj spoke up, I nearly shot anyway, but the note of urgency in his normally squeaky voice gave me pause.

"Boss! Take a look at the one in white!"

I brought the rifle to bear on her. She looked bored, and was absent-mindedly polishing her rapier, the one in black clearly glaring at her. She said something, and the white one waved her off. It looked like an argument, but Red spoke up and they settled down, White still not putting up her weapon.

"If you made me stop to point out that she's cute, I'm going to push you out of this tree."

"Boss, look at the _weapon_."

I focused the rifle, and cursed under my breath.

What I'd thought was just a poorly made, too-thick rapier was actually a masterpiece. The blade looked reinforced, and the hilt...

"That's a multi-chambered _dust_ injection port. These aren't just guards;they're _mercs_. How in the _hell_ did that shithole afford mercs?"

"Boss, what do we do?"

I took a few deep breaths. "We won't be able to warn everyone before anyone gets twitchy and attacks on their own. It's a good plan, whether or not they're mercs. They'll die just like any other human."

Not for the first time, I saw Naranj's eyes flick towards my hat. If he asked, I was going to kill him.

But Naranj shook his head, and I was reminded once again of why I kept him around. He knew when to mind his own business.

I took the shot, and the horse collapsed forward, the wheels of the wagon mangling the body and being mangled in turn, forcing the wagon to a halt and knocking the old man down.

The girls, I noticed with a curse, didn't fall.

Instead, they jumped out, and each faced a different direction, White taking the front, Red taking the back, Yellow taking the left and Black taking the right. Which, unfortunately, kept her out of my view.

I focused in on Red, noting how she kept talking, while the other two I could see seemed to be keeping quiet. Clearly, she was the leader.

I lined up a shot at her, and started to pulled the trigger. The shot missed, though that might've had something to do with her _disappearing_.

I didn't have time to worry about that, though.

"Boss, look at the front!"

White was out front, staring down Exsangue and his men.

He took a step forward, and she twirled around once, then jammed her sword into the ground.

Ice traveled along the ground, then rose up and enveloped whole Exsangue and his entire force, trapping them in individual icicles, and blocking them from view. I could only hope that the icicles were meant to imprison them, instead of freezing them.

The sudden arc of lightning, jumping between the statues-_my men_\- and shattering them one by one killed that hope.

I swung the rifle around at the sound of Naranj's gasp. Red was cutting through my men, whirling through the lot of them almost too fast for me to see. I watched as she swung her scythe (_where the hell did she get that thing?) _through Leblanc and into Triste, then threw Triste's still-spasming body into the back of Verdâ, sending him stumbling into a right hook from Yellow. He burst into flame and flew into a few of the men who'd made the mistake of bunching up. Yellow raised her hand, shooting into the crowd and keeping the fire going. Black jumped from behind the wagon and looked around at the scattered remains of my men, shaking her head. The old man seemed to gather his wits, finally standing up.

It'd been over in less than a minute.

I looked over the battlefield frantically. "Naranj, is there anyone still breathing?"

"I don't see... No, boss. No one's left."

I pushed myself up into a crouch, trying to get a better angle and see behind the wagon.

"Boss, look!"

Red was talking to Black, and pointing in our direction.

Of course, she was pointing about thirty meters to our right, so I wasn't too worried.

Black put her hand up to block the sun and stared in the direction Red hand pointed, then started looking around.

I met her eyes through my scope, and knew that she'd seen me.

I took the shot at her, and saw it pass through her, as if she wasn't there.

Red disappeared, and Naranj yelled, pushing me out of the way.

I hit the ground hard, and stared.

The blade of Red's scythe was through Naranj, his hands still outstretched towards me.

I brought the rifle up, and she swung at it, spraying me with blood as she cut the rest of the way through him.

Vaguely, my brain registered Naranj's scream, but my mind was mainly focused on my only weapon, which had been cut cleanly in half.

My eyes met hers, and I heard Naranj's last words.

"Boss, run."

My feet refused to move, and she smiled.

"You're the leader, then? Good, Weiss will want to talk to you."

I stared, frozen in place.

She chuckled. "Sucks to be you, too. She liked that horse."

She put her hand on my shoulder, grabbed a good hold of my tunic, and the world blurred, then we were standing in front of the wagon, and I was fighting the urge to vomit, both from the smell of blood and the speed with which I'd just been moved.

I lost that battle, and was soon on my hands and knees, puking my brains out.

When I stood, Yellow was leaning against the wagon. Old man was trying and failing to hide on top.

White was staring me down, Black had a gun on me, and Red was whispering something into Yellow's ear.

White spoke up. "Are you the leader of this group?"

"Can I drink from my canteen before we start the questions?"

She narrowed her eyes, but Red spoke up.

"Go ahead, but no sudden moves."

As I was washing the taste of bile from my mouth, I kept an eye on my captors. White seemed to be getting angrier by the second, Yellow was not making any attempts to hide her amusement at said anger. Black looked contemplative, but her eyes were alert. Red just stared at me.

I took a deep breath, and turned to Red. "Thank you." I turned back to White. "I believe you had some questions?"

She glared. "Are you the leader of this group?"

I looked around at the bodies of my men, and resisted cracking a joke to push her buttons. While I was pretty sure they weren't going to be letting me go, I didn't want to make my death more painful than it had to be. That'd be the sensible thing to do.

On the other hand, might as well go out smiling. And, after all, I hadn't gotten to be the leader of a bandit crew by being sensible.

So, I gestured at the corpses surrounding me "Well, by process of elimi-"

Black slowly and deliberately cocked her gun, and my mouth went dry.

She knew how to intimidate people, that much was clear. "Yes. I'm the leader."

White sent a smile over her shoulder, and I just couldn't help myself.

"You know, we have several openings, if you guys are looking for work."

Her glare's intensity was thrown a bit off by Yellow giggling, which quit when Red elbowed her.

"I'm sorry, but it seems we're a tad... overqualified. Now, if you would kindly quit with the jokes about your dead friends..."

It was my turn to glare at her, and she smirked back.

"Thank you. Now, why'd you chose to rob us?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Five against fifty-six. I liked the odds."

Her eyes narrowed. "Alright, I'll rephrase that. What did you think we were carrying?"

I narrowed my eye back, and said the first thing that came to mind.

I mean, I was pretty much dead anyway, right?

"What did _you_ think I thought you had?"

She took a step forwards, and Red spoke up. "Weiss, calm down. Yang, talk to her."

Yellow, or rather, 'Yang' stepped forward, sent me a disarming smile, and batted her eyelashes. "Fifty-six, huh? Lotta guys to be living in the woods, this late in the year. How'd you manage to convince that many people to hang around?"

"Oh, you know, natural charisma."

She smiled, and looked me up and down. "I'm sure..." She slowly licked her lips, and I felt a knot form in my throat.

My face heated up, and she smiled wider. "I'm sure a cute little thing like you can be _real_ convincing." She took a step forward, and I instinctively took one back. "So, how'd you know it was us carrying the taxes?" She asked quickly, raising an eyebrow.

"The big chest was a- _fuck_!"

She smiled, and stuck her tongue out at White. "Knew that'd work."

White huffed. "Yes, you tricked a bandit by flirting with her. Congratulations."

Red spoke up. "The chest tipped you off. How'd you know we weren't just some family, moving on to the next town? Or merchants, or something like that?"

I took a few deep breaths, and pointedly looked away from Yang. "The chest was too fancy, and so was he." I inclined my head towards the old man. "On the other hand, your clothes were too scruffy to be his daughters, or merchants."

Red nodded. "I'd thought he should've been dressed less conspicuously. How'd you know we weren't servants?"

I scowled. "Guys as rich as him don't have servants, they have slaves. And none of you are faunus."

Black noticeably bristled at this, but the old man nodded along. "I told you girls it wouldn't be believable. I should have brought-"

Red held up a hand.

"Now. How'd you know the taxes were coming at all?"

I licked my lips, and tried to steady my breathing. I'd hoped they wouldn't think to ask. I couldn't just give away my source, no matter what they did to me. I'd have to trick them.

I eyed Black. She seemed to be averse to the idea of slaves. And from what I'd heard, the old man had a few...

"I-" I took a deep breath. "If I tell you, will you let me live?"

Red smiled. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you yes, would you?"

"S-so you're going to kill me?" I let fear into my voice, but Red just rolled her eyes.

"You're a bad actor. You're not planning on giving away your guy, I can tell by looking into your eyes. Now, I'm not gonna lie to you; if you tell us who it was, and I believe you, I'll let you live. If I think you're lying to me, I'll kill you."

I took in a quick breath.

She looked at my eyes, and chuckled. "And don't think you would be able to keep us from finding out. We'd get it out of you eventually. And then you'd die, for nothing. Is that really how you want to go out?"

"N- no." I sighed inwardly. "It... it was the old baker's boy."

"Arc?" The old man asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah." I hated myself, even as I said it, but I couldn't bring myself to lie, knowing the pain they could inflict. "He's got his sisters to look after ever since his parents died, and I offered him a cut and safe travel for anything he marked if he told us what month it'd be coming through."

"That little bastard! I knew he seemed too cheerful when he was paying up." The old man growled.

"Smart choice." Black spoke up. "How'd you plan on giving Arc safe travel?"

I mentally cursed, but arranged my face into a sneer. "I'd think that was pretty obvious. We were just going to let him by without-"

"You're not the only bandits around." Red said, smiling at Black. "And you wouldn't have thought twice about giving us his name if you had planned on screwing him over from the beginning."

White stepped forward. "Fifty men is pretty big for a bandit clan, isn't it? Big enough to push around smaller ones, for sure. So, you mark your wagons, and the rest leave them alone?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"And you were planning to mark his as well?"

"Yeah."

She smirked. "You're going to lead us to your camp. We're switching wagons."

I cursed under my breath.

Red nodded. "Blake, Yang, go with her If she makes any sudden moves, kill her and make your way back. Weiss and I will wait here."

Fifteen minutes later, I was showing the two my personal wagon when I felt the barrel of a gun touch the back of my head.

I forced myself not to react. "Try to get it over with with the first shot, please."

"Shut up. Yang, take the hat."

"My hat?"

The article in question was taken off my head, and my ears slowly unfurled.

"Ooh... can I touch them? Blake never-"

"Yang!"

"Shit, my bad."

At this point, I was willing to go through a bit of human-indulging to live, so I shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Yang, stop." She pulled the gun from my head, and walked around me to meet my eyes. "Look, you can't just let her do something like that, or she'll be begging me."

I shrugged. "You must be a cat faunus. Right?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Ah, I mean. It's mostly cats who view it as affection."

She glared, but shrugged. "Fine, if it doesn't bother you, go ahead and let her. Now, how'd you manage to escape?"

"Escape? I have no-"

She scoffed. "You're full of shit. You're a faunus, you're months away from our land, and you're at least slightly educated. So, you were a slave. The question is, how'd you manage to evade the Watchers?

"Oh, you know. Natural talent."

Her eyes narrowed, but she said nothing else.

She handed Yang her gun, and left to tie my horse to my wagon.

Fortunately, she seemed to be pretty good at dealing with animals, so I didn't have to deal with the blonde playing with my ears for long.

Of course, if that'd been all she was doing, I could've lived with it.

She ran a finger across my ears, then gently pinched one between two fingers, rolling it around. She stepped closer, and whispered into the other ear. "So, do you let all the girls hold your ears, or...?"

I took a calming breath, and fought to control my blush. "Only those who ask nicely. And- ahhhh..."

I trailed off into a moan as she experimentally nipped one.

"And?"

"D- do you always bite strangers ears?"

"Only those who ask nicely. So, you were saying?"

"It doesn-ahh... doesn't normally have sexual connotations."

"Hm." She let out a hot breath onto an ear. "Connotations is kind of a big word for a bandit."

"I—ahhh, son of a bitch..."

"So, if it's not inherently sexual... Does this mean you've got some kind of a fetish?"

"Of... of course not! I-" She redoubled her efforts, and my self control melted away. My eyes closed, and I stopped paying attention to reality for a few minutes.

When she quit rubbing my ears, I whined a bit, and opened my eyes to see a very amused Yang, and a lightly blushing Blake.

"Are you paying attention now?" Blake asked.

I nodded.

She brought her gun up and fired. Three shots rang out, hitting a nearby tree. "Now, we're going to tell the client that we killed you. _You_ are going to go get any savings you have, and go help that kid who gave you the information make a new life for himself somewhere. Understood?"

I nodded.

"Good girl." Yang said, smirking.

Blake and I glared.

"Anyway, if I ever see you near another bandit camp, I'll kill you. Got it? We're letting you live this time because you cooperated-"

"And cause the client's a dickhead."

"And cause the client's a dickhead" Blake agreed, smiling. "Now, get out of here. And, uh... feel free to show some of the others in town how you managed to escape, alright? The faunus need all the help we can get."

I backed away from them until they faded from sight, then ran as fast as I could towards the crew's loot box.

After seeing my crew get wiped out, and having my life spared, I was more than happy to do a few good deeds.

Plus, the Arc kid did have a cute sister.


	6. Neo, The Gamer Omake

**Rivalries**

_**A/N:Alright, so... I guess this isn't canon to the eventual NeoGamer fic I'll actually write? This is more of an omake for something that doesn't exist yet.**_

_**Also, anyone have a good name for said fic? That's like, 60% of the reason I haven't started it yet.**_

****Neo Politan****

****Level 15 Intimidating Gamer****

****STR-106  
DEX-160  
INT-130  
WIS-128  
CHA-10(+118)  
LUK-60****

****FLAWS  
******  
Xylophone P******hobia ******  
******Aversion to Cats******  
******Aversion to Chlorine ******  
******Aversion to Cat Dander******  
******Dinophobia******  
Occasional Petulance********  
******Xenophobia******  
******Occasionally Goes Mad With Power******  
******See More (11,313)****

****TRAITS****

****Nonverbal Communication Expert****

****Sadistic Sex Appeal****

****FEATS****

****Short Range Teleport (Flicker)****

****Minor Illusion****

**/**

**_'What is this bullshit?!' _****She glared at the blonde who stood at the opposite end of the hall, leaning against the wall as if she belonged there.**

**The bitch waved at her, as if they hadn't been trying to kill each other the week before.**

_'Observe'_

The status window popped up, and she swore.

/

**Yang Xiao-Long**

****Level 15 Motherly Berserker****

****STR-160  
DEX-106  
INT-90  
WIS-108  
CHA-30 (+125)  
LUK-118****

****FLAWS  
******  
******Bitch Please****

****TRAITS****

****Fire Affinity****

****Masochistic Sex Appeal****

****Aura Excess****

****Blazing Aura****

****Emboldened Aura****

****FEATS****

****Kinetic Transference ****

****Aura-Enhancement****

****Persuade-Minor****

****Intimidate-Major****

****/****

**_'Again, what is this bullshit?! She couldn't have been more than level six last time! How'd she level up so quickly? And why're her stats so high if she only has the one flaw?'_**

**A second status window popped up, which told her this was just another weird effect of her semblance.**

****Your actions during your last fight have made Yang Xiao-Long into your rival! Rivals level up at the same rate you do, and their stat totals will always be roughly equivalent or slightly higher than yours! In adition, though you will inevitably be on opposite sides of any given conflict, you and your rival will often have a relationship built on grudging respect and mutual strength! You will likely end up teaming up with your rival against a greater foe from time to time, and possibly even forming a quasi-romantic rela-****

**She closed the window without a second thought, and eyed the blonde. ****_'What does her flaw do?'_**

****That is not a flaw. That is placeholder text!****

**_'Well, fuck.'_**

****Indeed!****

**She leaned against a wall of her own.**

**If she was being honest, she could admit that she saw the potential. The blonde was loud, she was mute. The blonde was a conventional beauty, tall and curvy, while she was anything but conventional, with her small frame and odd eyes.**

**They both had distinctive hair, though in different ways. The blonde's hair wouldn't look out of place if it weren't so damn big, while Neo's would look completely normal if she dyed it.**

**Their eyes were distinctive, and if Neo's eyesight wasn't failing her, the blonde seemed to be able to change her eye color as well. She was almost certain they'd been red the last time she'd seen them, but now they were violet.**

**She was a ruthless fighter, focusing on dodging and countering brutally. The blonde seemed to prefer taking hits and swinging back to take an enemy down. **

**Neo planned out her battles when she could, the blonde had a penchant for charging in.**

**_'This isn't fair. That girl's a teenager, I was here first! I've been fighting longer than she has, why does she get to level with me? Do I get to level with her? And what the fuck does Motherly Berserker even mean? Isn't that an oxymoron?' _**

****Technically, but she makes it work. The exact specifics of the rival system are currently unknown, so I would recommend experimentation! You are at about the right age for that, even if you did decide not to go to college, so if you were to invite her-****

**She closed the window again. She reflected briefly on the implications of her semblance constantly questioning her sexuality, and decided that she had no wish to follow that train of thought to it's inevitable conclusion.**

**She sighed as the blonde waved again.****_ 'Rivals are bullshit.'_**


End file.
